Log in

No account? Create an account
The Perfect Drug's Journal [entries|friends|calendar]
The Perfect Drug

[ website | www.heroin.org ]
[ userinfo | livejournal userinfo ]
[ calendar | livejournal calendar ]

( | change for dope )

miserably waiting for six a.m. [11 Mar 2009|12:18am]

[ mood | frustrated ]

longtime lurker, first time poster...

anyone ever notice how time seems to crawl when you're waiting to re-opiate? i'm not going to be able to sleep a wink tonight. i hate it, i hate it, i hate it...It could be worse. I could be in extreme agony, instead of just unpleasant discomfort. At least I know that I'll be okay come tomorrow morning (that is, if nothing goes drastically wrong).  I wish I lived in the 1900s, where a visit to the local apothecary could safely and reliably result in the procurement of what i need.  i hate the stress surrounding all of this, i just like the result, when i finally obtain it...me at home, at total peace, chin pressed to my chest, free of all pain or anxiety, floating in blissful apathy, my cat purring in my lap, both of us drifting in and out of gentle shallow sleep for hours and hours...

i am going to drink more wine, although it is doing little but making me feel like i'm going to puke. i had an old friend who swore by pot at times like these, but i personally loathe and despise pot and wouldn't smoke it if it was the last drug on earth...it just makes me paranoid and gives me heart palpitations...

( | change for dope )

[29 Jan 2009|02:44pm]

Anyone from Minnesota?
I'm having a hard time.

( 11¢ | change for dope )

heyyyy [28 Jan 2009|03:14pm]

Just moved to san antonio...from Detroit.

Anyone in the area?

I know these posts suck...but bear with me. I'm goin thru MAD withdrawls.

( change for dope )

[15 Jan 2009|06:24pm]

Anyone here live in/around Salt lake city???

( | change for dope )

[09 Oct 2008|01:14am]

[ mood | bored ]

hi, everyone! my name's ange, i live in the reading, pa area; an hour-ish away from philadelphia. does anybody here live near me? i'd love to meet some new connects or buddies with some similar interests ((ahem)). be safe. my boyfriend's doing a few years in berks county prison for being a junkie for the past ten years-- it's resorted to stealing from shopping malls for gift cards, which he'd sell for half the value in cash, then to finally robbing me, twice. the first time he took my money and clothes to sell, then the second time (i was a sucker and let him come back), he stole my car and sold everything i had in it, they day i got back from running him around philly to steal and get high for four days straight. it was hell-- i didn't eat or sleep for four days, and the only reason i had to come back was because i got a call from the courthouse and it turned out he had taken my car one night while i was sleeping and sold some of my stuff in the city and got more drugs.. and in the process he ran through a red light which snapped my license plate and i got a ticket for $180. i had to come back to reading that day or i was going to lose my license and have to pay a bunch of fees, but he didn't want me to come back, he wanted me to run him around for a few more days.. so while i was in the courthouse paying his ticket, he decided to steal my car because he said he didn't think i'd really drive back to philly afterward.
just goes to show you the shit can ruin your life if you let it. he's been doing the same shit for ten years, and now he said he's going to cut off whoever won't "help" him now, which means he just wants everyone to send him money and keep him occupied with visits while he's doing his time.. the same people he's been screwing over for years by asking for money for "rent" or for "car trouble..." you name it.. but it was always for dope. he even spent all my rent money that i had in our joint account, and i just found out that my rent hasn't been paid for the past six months. three grand.
so anyway... anyone around here??

( | change for dope )

central va? [29 Sep 2008|02:13pm]
hey... I was just wondering if anyone lived near central va?

( change for dope )

join our community [15 Sep 2008|07:02pm]


( | change for dope )

drug test question [07 Sep 2008|07:15pm]

i have a test coming up, and i recently had a script for percocets and if i'm doing dope and i go and piss and its dirty for dope, will saying i took an oxycodone [percocet] work to justify it being dirty? or will they know the difference between heroin and oxycodone...or it will just show up as an opiate and when i show my prescription bottle....and say i took them...they wont say anything more.....my whole problem is...i'm waiting on some suboxone...but if i cant get suboxone i'm going to have to be dopesick for like 4 days before my test...and i don't want to do that...so if i can just use and show my prescription bottle to get out of it....i want to.

( | change for dope )

baltimore doper [18 Mar 2008|05:13am]


need more friends that shoot up plus more connects


( change for dope )

New [17 Mar 2008|09:26pm]
[ mood | aggravated ]

Hey everyone. Glad I found this community.

Anyone in the SF bay area? Desperately aching to float on a cloud.


( change for dope )

suboxone/ half-life [06 Feb 2008|04:09pm]

Took a suboxone 2-8mg tab at 12pm today. Wanting to know when I can shoot up. Thanks a bunch. Q.

( | change for dope )

[18 Jan 2008|06:47am]

I have something to say for Jennifer because like the downright sniveling COWARD she is, she blocked me from her journal where she writes numerous posts about me every day.

The yeti seems to be on a rampage, making numerous lengthy posts all evening, assuming she knows everything about me (not to mention the famous people, and the entire world for that matter). You better run for the hills before she tries and analyzes you too, then condemn you for all the blasphemous sins you've done in your life.

You say you are one of the few who stands up to the "masses" and fights for a better way of life? Well, what kind of life do you envision? A world full of robotic-like people placed inside of a sterile environment (individual cells) free of germs, who have had all sexual organs and segments of their brains surgically removed? A world where you will be the leader, telling them it's better to remain isolated from the others, they will only hurt you, use you, and manipulate you, it's better to just abide by what you tell them and not think with their own minds and learn from experiences. A world where individuals no longer exist, where psychology must be just a dream, the human mind is just the same as an animal's only worse, and only knows primitive instincts used to fuck, hurt, and kill.

So now I'm a cock socket with the mentality of a monkey because I replied realistically to your posts. Funny how you start to get ballsy after you block me from replying, and it's funny you attack me in this way where not once was I even promoting sex. You seem to be quite the contradictory hypocrite. You are the one twisting and manipulating my words because your head seems too dense to process any new information. I was just talking about being a human being instead of being a vengeful yeti out in the wilderness somewhere. You have a filthy mouth, and word up I'm not a member of the senate in California and I don't own a dog named Lucy, so you watch it.

The thing that gets me, and the ultimate reason for all of this is because you both are presumptuous enough to act like you know anything about me and twist the meaning of my comments. If you read back, not once was I even talking about or promoting in any way sex. I don't think sex is as important here as you both are making it out to be. You two seem to be obsessed with sex, the true undercover horndogs, and are just jealous because you couldn't get someone to fuck you even if you wanted to. I shall name you the dead bitter cock socket.

If your heads weren't so far up your own asses you would see that what you're doing, and how harshly you are judging others is exactly what you condemn people for doing to you in the past. You aren't any better than the judgmental people you grew to hate, and you are projecting the exact same demeanor onto others.

Then again, you do hate yourself, don't you? Thus, everyone else must hate you, and you'll be damned if there is another human being on this planet who is happy, they all should be miserable fucks like you, how fucking dare they, right? How dare there be an attractive person anywhere? You were the only people in this world who felt any kind of pain so it's necessary to bring everyone else down to your level, so maybe they can feel it too. Maybe then with all these miserable minds working together you can create a plan to conquer the world, assassin all the people with favorable genes, all people who have had more than one sexual partner, and re create a world with your ideals. Husbands tied up in cellars, children killing themselves, hearts literally ripped out of chests an eaten alive if a person dares to have a view of life that differs from yours, people mutilated every time they tell a lie, and men castrated if they ask for a divorce.

It's good you chose not to deal with men ever again. That means no chance of you reproducing, and that thought comforts me at night when I go to sleep. You wouldn't want to risk having your mutant deranged offspring running rampant in the world among the children I may have some day, contributing to the school shootings and God knows what else.

It doesn't matter how you look, if you have that kind of outlook no one is going to want to be around you. You could be considered by many the most beautiful woman in the universe, but people would become repulsed as soon as you open your mouth. You could lose any man because you are full of so many fronts, so much negativity, there is no you left inside of that empty shell, only a vengeful, bitter, hateful demon who calls rejection, and the seclusion that YOU brought against yourself individualism, that wants so badly some sort of attention but never gets it.

YOU LET YOUR PAST CONTROL YOU LIKE A LITTLE BITCH. If you look close enough I bet you can see the strings on your arms, and all the people who ever hurt you on top moving you around every which way.

Instead of claiming your life back you let them own you. You are just as good as a hermit, you might as well give up on it and either buy that cave or put a bullet through your head and end your miserable life because what you are doing is NOT living, you're skating by in the corner of your little house of glass, tombed inside of a brick room you spent so many years building.

You let them fuck you, repeatedly until you are only fueled by revenge and hate. You're not a strong person, you're weak, you let them demolish you and you aren't doing anything about it except writing essays on live journal, looking for people to pacify you, baby you, and fuel into your negativity. I bet that's the life both of you always dreamed for.


( change for dope )

HELP [26 Dec 2007|07:10pm]

just moved to denver and i need SOMETHING!

( change for dope )

:D [20 Dec 2007|08:42pm]

any folks in the los angeles area?

aim - adreamofform

i don't feel so great right now, ya know?

( change for dope )

i've been gone for awhile [27 Nov 2006|01:06pm]

I haven't been on livejournal since April. This summer I went back to Seattle to pursue school. I confronted my heroin past. My first weekend back and a cop that knows me got me on an old warrant. Failure to appear to court over a heroin charge. I got that taken care of before the summer was over. It only took me two attempts to get the court shit taken care of. I ended up with a misdemenor. Attempting to possess heroin. To think if the cop would have waited five minutes, he could have gotten me on a possession charge. It won't fuck up my finacial aid thank the gods. I did heroin every now and then when I was in Seattle. I ran into a friend that still owed me dope. So one night I got a half gram and shared it with three people. The dope in Seattle is so fucking lame after all of my time in San Diego. I did it when it was free. I have quite a few junky friends. I was more interested in pot and alcohol. The cops were really up my ass this summer. I'm a known junky up in my neighborhood in Seattle. Cops that didn't even know me would ask me if I was doing heroin. In the end I found out I couldn't afford school in Washington. So I packed up my shit and moved back to San Diego. When I was back, I ran into an old dope shooting buddy. He gave me some to snort. I was in fucking paradise. When I did dope in Seattle I missed the dope in San Diego so much. I was home again when I snorted the dope. A week later I ended up shooting up with my buddy and a mutual friend. That was a great night too. Another night I had ten bucks and saw my buddy. I was just happy snorting it. After that I realized if it's not easy to score dope, I won't do it. I'm sick of spending hours for nothing. Herion is a waste of time. My summer in Seattle, I was told that I accomplished the rarity. I can do heroin on a recretrational level. It's the only way to do it. Heroin is more fun when you do it every now and then as opposed to being strung out and living from fix to fix. A friend OD'd on me in Seattle and I saw another throw it away after he turned his life around after he got out of prison. One summer of use made him lose his truck, place, and job. I'm just into smoking weed and drinking alcohol now. I don't get heroin dreams. I can't remember the last time I had a heroin dream. I don't feel like a slave to the needle anymore. I wonder if I'm a junky anymore. I'm so into pot and alcohol now. However, whenever heroin is mentioned, I do crave it. So the junky girl is still alive inside of me. I miss it at times. Heroin is one of those relationships where you're better off if you don't ask her to hang around after the night is over. Heroin is better as a one night stand as oppose to marriage.

( | change for dope )

[15 Nov 2006|01:33am]

I'm looking for people with similar interests in the Boston area and otherwise. People who like to get high and write, people who like to get high and enjoy the company of people who won't steal all their DVDs. That sort of thing. I haven't met up with people from online since the birth of instant messaging, but may be inclined to do so if I get to know you on here and you seem like you'd be fun (and, er, not a cop).

I just moved back here from the South Puget Sound area of Washington, anyone from that scene? I suppose there's a chance I may move back there at some point.

( | change for dope )

Clean Jersey... [05 Oct 2006|08:05am]

Is anyone here living near Newark or Trenton NJ? I'm not looking for a connectoin/hook-up, I'm just curious and need some info about certain neighborhoods in those lovely cities. Any advice would be much appriciated!
X poosted to Dope Fiends.

( | change for dope )

[15 May 2006|08:50am]

I've got to make a bit of cash quite quickly and have exausted many options. I need some new ideas. I figure I'll post this to get some other peoples advice .. kind of like a brainstorm type thing. I need to make about $300 ASAP. I will settle for way less, any money will do. I have some money to begin with so its not all too hard, but i still need atleast $65 more than what I have now. Gimmie some suggestions, damnit! :D Legality is nothing.. as I will do whatever I must for this money, as always. Holla at me!

( | change for dope )

it is so hard to get H in san diego [09 Apr 2006|12:08pm]

it's easy to get it in LA and Seattle, but not where it's so close to the mexican border. I would love to do H again. Needles are hard to come by. You can get needles if you know people, which I don't really. And the exchange program here sucks. You have to have a house for they only do house calls. Like I can have them come over to my house, then all the wrong people know I use. I thought exchanges were so suppose to make it so you can hide your use if you needed to. people judge, you know? I can't wait until the next time I can do H.

( change for dope )

I NEEEEEDDD [30 Mar 2006|11:16am]

is there H in tarpon springs/pt. richey?

[ viewing | most recent entries ]
[ go | earlier ]