Jessica (princesscumbag) wrote in the_h,

i've been gone for awhile

I haven't been on livejournal since April. This summer I went back to Seattle to pursue school. I confronted my heroin past. My first weekend back and a cop that knows me got me on an old warrant. Failure to appear to court over a heroin charge. I got that taken care of before the summer was over. It only took me two attempts to get the court shit taken care of. I ended up with a misdemenor. Attempting to possess heroin. To think if the cop would have waited five minutes, he could have gotten me on a possession charge. It won't fuck up my finacial aid thank the gods. I did heroin every now and then when I was in Seattle. I ran into a friend that still owed me dope. So one night I got a half gram and shared it with three people. The dope in Seattle is so fucking lame after all of my time in San Diego. I did it when it was free. I have quite a few junky friends. I was more interested in pot and alcohol. The cops were really up my ass this summer. I'm a known junky up in my neighborhood in Seattle. Cops that didn't even know me would ask me if I was doing heroin. In the end I found out I couldn't afford school in Washington. So I packed up my shit and moved back to San Diego. When I was back, I ran into an old dope shooting buddy. He gave me some to snort. I was in fucking paradise. When I did dope in Seattle I missed the dope in San Diego so much. I was home again when I snorted the dope. A week later I ended up shooting up with my buddy and a mutual friend. That was a great night too. Another night I had ten bucks and saw my buddy. I was just happy snorting it. After that I realized if it's not easy to score dope, I won't do it. I'm sick of spending hours for nothing. Herion is a waste of time. My summer in Seattle, I was told that I accomplished the rarity. I can do heroin on a recretrational level. It's the only way to do it. Heroin is more fun when you do it every now and then as opposed to being strung out and living from fix to fix. A friend OD'd on me in Seattle and I saw another throw it away after he turned his life around after he got out of prison. One summer of use made him lose his truck, place, and job. I'm just into smoking weed and drinking alcohol now. I don't get heroin dreams. I can't remember the last time I had a heroin dream. I don't feel like a slave to the needle anymore. I wonder if I'm a junky anymore. I'm so into pot and alcohol now. However, whenever heroin is mentioned, I do crave it. So the junky girl is still alive inside of me. I miss it at times. Heroin is one of those relationships where you're better off if you don't ask her to hang around after the night is over. Heroin is better as a one night stand as oppose to marriage.
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